the educational aspect

A few of my textbooks, and a couple handy Korean language tools.

Korea is a lovely country, and cultural immersion is an invaluable experience. But first and foremost, I am a student, and I am here to study. Luckily, my experience with professors here is evidence of them being much more approachable and informal than professors in the United States, or at least at Georgia Tech. For instance, on one of the first days in the country, I was hanging out in a park near the international building with a few other students, and we were approached by two professors of Biotechnology, who proceeded to buy us coffee, and give us their contact information for future reference. As much as I love my professors from home, I have never experienced or heard of anything close to that amount of hospitality on behalf of a professor in the United States.

This semester, I'm registered for 18 hours, 15 of which count for credit at Georgia Tech. I don't think it will be too bad, though--the courses seem fun (at least for me, they do), I don't have a lab, and none of the courses as of yet seem to require anything near the time commitment that Georgia Tech's CS 1371 (an introduction to computer science for engineering majors that primarily taught MATLAB) required.

Without further ado, the courses I attended today:

INTRODUCTION TO NUCLEAR THERMAL HYDRAULICS

In my first class at KAIST, it was simultaneously shocking and completely expected that I was not only the only foreigner, but also the only female in the class. Consequently, the professor felt the need to single me out and ask me details about America and challenge me to cite statistics about the average American vocabulary or GDP per capita. I mean, I like attention and getting to know my professors, but not when I feel like I'm annoying the rest of the class solely because of my nationality. On the plus side, there's a kid with blue and white hair in the class, so I don't feel nearly as outlandish.

The professor is pretty great--he studied, taught, and worked for awhile in the United States, so he's an affiliate of American Nuclear Society, and makes frequent trips to Atlanta, California, etc. His teaching style is exciting, and big on the conversation, which is definitely a positive thing, as far as staying awake is concerned. The actually class is an introduction to fluid mechanics and thermodynamics with nuclear applications. Because at Georgia Tech, thermodynamics is typically taken concurrently or prior to fluid mechanics, and at KAIST, only fluid dynamics is offered this semester, I thought it was in my interest to take this course, even though it technically does not transfer to Georgia Tech. Also, I'm pretty interested in researching with the professor of the course, so it would be awkward to try to weasel my way out of the class. And, he managed to incorporate full-slide picture of Harrison Ford into a presentation on nuclear energy, so the class promises to be exciting.

CIRCUIT THEORY

I'm definitely going to have to go out and buy something to keep myself awake for this class. The professor is understandable and considerate, but the class doesn't feel like it's tailored to the individual student. Of the classes I've been in thus far, it feels the most like a Physics or Calculus lecture at Georgia Tech--a big, impersonal class.

MECHANICS OF RIGID BODIES

This course is equivalent to Mechanics of Deformable Bodies at Georgia Tech. At KAIST, they expect you to have a background in fluids (which I'm taking concurrently), and to have taken a prerequisite akin to Statics. Although, my Statics professor at Georgia Tech didn't do the greatest job of preparing me comprehensively, so I'll have to review a bit harder than the other students in my class in order to be completely secure in the material.

INTERMEDIATE KOREAN I FOR FOREIGNERS


Based on the material, this was the next logical course after Georgia Tech's KOR 1001 and 1002. And, as with any language course I take right after a break, I understood about 70% of what the professor said. Interpret that as you may, good or bad. I definitely think I'll have to put quite a bit of effort into this, but it will be more than worth it, considering this class has the most immediate effect on my life, what with the living in South Korea and stuff.

 

a taste of night life

I should preface this by saying that I don't really drink. During the school year, I didn't go out a whole lot, as I was working weekend nights at a bowling alley on Georgia Tech campus, and had much more important concerns (i.e. maintaining my GPA) than partying. But, boy, do I love to dance.

the area near Galleria Time World, that looks absolutely stunning at night

 

And dance I did. Along with a bunch of international students, I went to a "western bar"/club in downtown Daejeon called Sponge. For those curious, the drinking age in South Korea is twenty, but not in the Western sense of age conventions. To calculate your Korean age, add a year to the age you are or will be turning during the year. For instance, I am eighteen years old outside of Korea, but will be turning nineteen in November (yes, I'm young... moving on). That means I am twenty in Korea, and can legally buy or consume alcohol, should I wish to do so.

Anyway, Sponge. We arrived by ushering slightly less than fifty international students onto two Daejeon city buses, exiting at the stop near Galleria Time World, a massive department store akin to Macy's in New York City. When we entered to the sounds of Caravan Palace just before 9:00pm, there weren't too many other people inside, allowing our lot to occupy the billiards tables, and snag a few booths. But as the night went on, the bar populated, seeming much less like a bar, and more like a club. Now, I don't have much experience with clubs elsewhere in the world, but from what I heard from the other internationals, South Korea blows them out of the water. With the progression of the hours, the music shifted from quirky electroswing to a smattering of American tunes from the early 2000s, rap, and Korean Pop. And believe me, you do not understand the wonder that is Gangnam Style until you have danced it with a room of drunk Koreans. Not that I was keeping count, but I'm pretty sure I danced with someone from every continent, and about fifty percent of the countries in the EU.

And while the music at times felt like it belonged at a junior high dance in 2005, many aspects of Sponge were nonetheless iawesome. Around 2:00am, the bartenders staged a "cocktail performance", beginning with acrobatics with bottles, and progressing to fire breathing. It was, needless to say, impressive. Although, there are very few moments when South Korea is not absolutely awe-inspiring.

cultural differences

This week, I've been running around with the international students before classes start. At KAIST, there are a large number of international students from France, Germany, and the Scandinavian countries. Ergo, many of my conversations over the past couple of days have consisted of comparing America to various European countries--and honestly, it's been really enlightening as to many unnoticed American habits. For instance, a common trend in many cultural discrepancies is the American resistance to change--the most illustrative and noticeable example being the metric system usage (or lack thereof). A fundamental value of America is the idea of "freedom", and often, we perceive change as infringing on our freedoms--and thus, we are left with many outdated and misaligned conventions.

Many of the Europeans have expressed confusion or dissatisfaction with the fact that America is a single country. And we do walk a precarious balance between states rights and federal rights--a balance that would be very difficult to implement anywhere else in the world. And so is the case with many cultural idiosyncrasies--what policies are effective for America will be different from what policies will be effective for Norway, or China, or Germany, or France.

As a student of nuclear engineering, I am a proponent of nuclear energy and its benefits. I understand that each decision has a cost, but I am of the opinion that the opportunity cost is in favor of nuclear energy. However, defending my field of study to students who were raised in a society that is not supportive of nuclear energy has been trying. At times, I become frustrated, wondering why people can't understand something that seems so obvious to me. Empathy is a topic I have yet to completely master.

I try to stay informed on global news, as well as the news of my own country, but conversations with students from other countries revealed just how differently news is relayed to Americans than to other countries. Only two days ago, I heard for the first time about the 2011 Norway attacks--a lone wolf terrorist ploy agains the Norwegian government. It was expressed to me that my not knowing about the massacre in Norway is akin to someone from France or Germany not hearing about 9/11. Because we are such a large country, composed of many states with varying cultures, it is an unfortunate consequence that the news that is broadcasted is largely unconcerned with foreign issues.

For many people, drinking alcohol is an integral part of forming bonds and connecting socially. However, because of a number of reasons, namely my upbringing, this is not the case for me. I have found this to be difficult--as I can occaisionally feel alienated when I don't understand references to drinking culture, or opt not to drink beer. This is especially apparent among international students primarily from Germany, France, Italy, and Scandinavian countries, particularly in a country such as South Korea in which alcohol is so relatively cheap, and drinking is so ingrained in the local culture.

On the other side of alienation, one of the best parts about a massive integration of cultures is the consequential sense of uniqueness. As one of the only Americans, surrounded by Europeans, and East Asians, and Middle Easterners, I feel much less ordinary. When interacting with people who have fewer similarities, one gains a more defined sense of identity--and that's a great feeling.

It's always funny to find references to our respective countries in South Korea.

*jumping photo intended to symbolize cultural immersion or something*

first day

Last snapshot of life before Korea

GETTING HERE

Flying Asiana Airlines was a really awesome experience, as far as being cramped in a metal box with a bunch of strangers goes. The flight attendants were abnormally pretty, the services were very accomadating, and the technology was entertaining. And, it's about what I imagined the Polar Express to be like, except with more kimchi, and few moral lessons. By the way, I can confirm that Japan is an actual place, as opposed to a fictitious land manifested by Gwen Stefani and animation studios. No news on if Godzilla is real or not.

After arriving at the Incheon airport, I had to go through customs, and then a sorceress turned my dollars into assorted values of Korean won. Alchemy, I know. I claimed my Tommy Hilfiger baggage(which, as I intended, screams "AMERICA!"), and purchased a bus ticket for the three and a half hour ride to Daejeon. Based on my very limited experience, South Korea has some killer public transportation, what with the big comfy chairs. They have comfy chairs!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

I'm not sure what I expected South Korea to look like, but I know my previous notion of it doesn't align with how it actually is. The best way I can describe the South Korean landscape is by comparing it to a teenager who just experienced a massive growth spurt, so all of his clothes are too tight and too short, and he has stretch marks in the areas that experienced the most growth. The mountains of South Korea are stunning, but they're dotted with high-rise apartment complexes, standing alone with little nearby. It's as if skyscrapers massive infrastructue just sprouted upwards, leaving no time for suburban communities to form aroud them, as they do in the United States. Nearly every spot not occupied by building, road, or mountain, is claimed by construction. Needless to say, they don't show this aspect of Korea in K-Dramas.

KAIST

The Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology is stunning. No pictures on the internet do it justice. There is a minimal amount of trash, a decent amount of recycling bins, and a plethora of ducks. All buildings are labeled according to geographic location, which makes things pretty intuitive. The cafeteria serves decently healthy food, and for a pretty cheap price--a bowl of (freaking amazing) ramen costs less than $2. Also, the cats are really cute.

A sample of the cafeteria food

SHOPPING

One thing I've noticed about Korea is that the socioeconomic aspects tend to be extreme versions of those in the States. You can get a soda from the vending machine for 500 won (less than 50 cents), but a cup of coffee equivalent to a tall costs around $6. Koreans walk the line between tacky and classy very well. Yet-to-be-identified street food is sold in front of a cutting edge technology store. At the entrance of Galleria, a Macy's-like department store in Daejeon, we find very high-end boutique cosmetics, right next to a vendor selling knock-off sunglasses and visors. Immediately outside, yet-to-be-identified street food is sold in front of a cutting edge technology store. South Korean department stores place a much larger emphasis on the "department" aspect than those in America. I visited Homeplus (similar in merchandise to a Wal-mart) to pick up some things for my dorm room, and found a several-story building, selling freshly made waffles and candies on one floor, groceries and plants on the next, and houseware accompanied by a nail salon on the floor above it. Each floor was separated by an incredibly steep moving walkway, and the carts were built so that the wheels locked immediately upon entry of the walkway. At the check-out, they don't actually give out grocery bags, instead expecting the customer to bring their own. For a nominal fee, you can buy a few paper bags, but the whole plastic bag thing? Unheard of. Imagine me, a confused American trying to figure out how to get a crapload of bedding from a department store downtown to my dormitory, without bags. Luckily, I stumbled on my first American since leaving the airport, who was a tremendous help to me. She, as a 4-year resident of South Korea, was a little more familiar with the trends and customs. As she assisted me, she reminded me that life here is difficult at first--it will take some time to get acclimated.

FAQ, as of today

One consequence of being a student is that you cross paths with a lot of people for very brief increments of time. So each person has some faint idea of who you are and what you're doing with your life, but few really know. For this reason, I've created a list of frequently asked questions. May edit as information changes.


Q: Where are you from, originally?
A: A cute little suburb outside of Houston, Texas. For certain values of "cute". The locals can be pretty homogenous.

Q: Where do you go to school?
A: I am a rising second year undergraduate student at Georgia Tech, in Atlanta, Georgia. However, for the next academic year (2012-2013), I'll be studying abroad with an exchange program at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST) in Daejeon, South Korea. Here's a picture:

Q: What do you study?

A: I'm pursuing a B.S. in Nuclear and Radiological Engineering, with a minor in Korean.

Q: Phew. How did you decide on that combination?

A: I find quantum theory to be rather beautiful--how the world is composed of things we can never fully observe and know. Likewise, there's a lot of poetry in the power and potential that man can unleash within the bonds of an atom, and I want to see mankind do the great (non-destructive) things with that power. As far as studying Korean goes, I really wanted a global aspect to my education, and South Korea is planning to almost double its nuclear power generation by 2030, according to the World Nuclear Association, so it seemed like a good location to study in my field. In addition, there are many nuclear-relevant issues surrounding North Korea, and perhaps it's my Western bias, but I feel very strongly about the human rights situation in the DPRK.

Q: And what do you plan on doing with that?

A: I'll take what I can get, I guess. I tend to flip-flop between nuclear energy and nuclear forensics. Working for the International Atomic Energy Association (IAEA) would probably be my dream gig.

Q: So, South Korea. A whole year, huh? What made you decide to go there?

A: A global education is something I really desired out of college. With my major, I don't have too many options as far as studying abroad goes, and South Korea seemed like the best one. Also, being a legal resident of Texas, I'm an out-of-state student at Georgia Tech. And Georgia Tech has a policy that out-of-state students who study abroad pay in-state tuition, so it's a lot cheaper for me to study abroad. Thus, I'm trying to maximize the time I spend not paying full tuition. Also, cultural immersion, and all that jazz.

Q: Where will you be living while you're over there?

A: In dorm-style housing with a (presumably) Korean roommate.

Q: Do you actually speak Korean?

A: 저는 조금 한국 말해요. I speak it better than I understand it, and read it better than anything. I can get by in an airport, market, or a school. And I can hit on people. You know, basic survival skills.

Q: Political views?

A: Depends on the issue. Big fan of universal education, women's rights, and marriage equality. Still sorting out my feelings fiscally, and regarding healthcare and foreign policy. I change my mind a lot, and understand that what works for one country may or may not work for another.

Q: Religious views?

A: As far as my view on religion, I think a lot of good comes out of it. It's a lot easier for people to ascribe to a pre-defined moral code, than to analyze everything for themselves. It often brings hope, community, and instills a sense of purpose. However, a lot of bad comes from it, as well--war, alienation of outsiders. That said, it is arguably the best societal manipulator, whether for good or for bad. Regarding my personal theological understanding, I'm a theological nocognitivist. I don't feel like explaining, so I'll just link to a wikipedia article--for lack of a more succint description, I'm agnostic. However, I try not to broadcast this too much, as my family is very strongly Protestant Christian, and I try to be respectful as possible of the beliefs of others, particularly those of my parents (I personally find the broadcasting of my own beliefs to be detrimental to the beliefs of others, as I do not feel that the knowledge that led to my belief system has benefitted me socially or psychologically, and I do not wish to spread that information to those who are less confident in the derivation of their belief system). The only time I would take issue with a belief system is if it resulted in the subjugation of other human beings, as that is in misalignment with my personal moral code. Jeez, I wrote more on that subject than I intended.

Q: What kind of music do you like to listen to?

A: Oh, gosh, I can't even put a finger on specific genres, so I'll just list a few artists. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Belle and Sebastian, Moneybrother, Sex Pistols, Marty Robbins, First Aid Kit, Frank Turner, Josh Ritter, Sinead O'Connor, Roisin Murphy, Dengue Fever, Grandaddy, Fats Domino, Simon and Garfunkel, Eliza Dolittle, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Paolo Nutini, Joanna Newsom.

Q: Favorite book?

A: My favorite grown-up book would probably be The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. But as a kid, I loved Frank L. Baum's Wizard of Oz series. Also, Anne of Green Gables, because redheads.

Q: Favorite movie?

A: I'd have to go with Forrest Gump. Also a big fan of The Princess Bride, Memoirs of a Geisha, and anything Mel Brooks. Generally do not like sequels or series. Especially Star Wars. Don't really like Star Wars. *cringes from inevitable criticism of taste*

Q: And as far as television shows go?

A: Lately, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Also a big fan of Doctor Who from Eccleston forth, Star Trek (original series, plz), and Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Q: Any wicked talents?

A: I wish. I'm a fairly decent pianist, and crazy skilled at MS Paint. Also, apparently I'm pretty speedy at counting change. You know, speedy change-counting would be a horrible super power.

Q: Seeing anyone?

A: Heh. No, and I'm not really looking to. Just got out of a pretty awesome, if brief, relationship. Long distance puts a damper on things, and I'm more of the lone ranger type.





Nomad

Industrialized nations are so fixated on a structure of living that includes a "home"--and not of the gushy home-is-where-your-heart-is sort, but of the physical, immobile, permanant residency. Agricultural luck and fluid trade patterns have permitted our societies to become stationary, and develop academia, traditions, and  a vast array of technology. Societies at rest tend to stay at rest, and momentum is conserved.

It is in our flourishing societies that the nomad is alienated. The homeless are outcasts, regardless of how they  resulted in their situation. A traveler's lifestyle is considered unsustainable, even reckless. It is too common for people to not only be fluent in a single language, but also understand and empathize with a single mindset.

In a society such as the above, I have found myself without a "home".

Sure, I have places I'm "staying". For the past year, in student housing at Georgia Tech. For the next week or so, at my parent's home in Texas. After that, South Korea for awhile. I'll probably hit up Thailand, China, Taiwan, Cambodia, Japan, and/or Vietnam. And then, who knows where I'll be. I'm at that stage in my life in which I'm constantly barely sure about what I'll be doing in a month.

Frequently, I've found myself feeling empty, as I have no concept of where or what "home" is. And honestly, I think I'm lusting for something that even nomadic cultures had--a group identity. I am alone, yet surrounded by people. Out of a fear of being caged, I have lost any sense of belonging. Disagreement has rendered me into solitude, or independence, contingent on your perspective.

So I'll wander, and I'll search for my own identity, and I'll learn. Perhaps I'll return to or stumble apon a someone or a group of people with whom I find home. Or maybe I won't. Independence isn't so bad.

Anecdotes from the Owner of a Closeted Identity

Kids freak me out a little bit. I enjoy admiring them from a distance, especially if they have chubby cheeks (the correlation between the amount of intensity with which I stare at a child and the chubbiness of their cheeks is exponential), yet I'm afraid to be around them, out of fear that I may adversely affect their system of values and identity. The thing about children is that they are initially pure bursts of self-defined identity, practically unadulterated by culture, upbringing, dogma, media, or any of that fun stuff that makes us who we are. As children, we are highly malleable and easily manipulated, but we are the rawest versions of ourselves. As we grow older, we become more ingrained in the many variables that shape our being, until we are shoved out into the "real world" to expose ourselves to the things from which we desire exposure and reshape our identity, often resulting in a return to something resembling our natural being.

However, those old influences--the ones that surrounded us as we gradually shifted from innocently smashing over Lego towers to cramming for our SATs--they don't change like we do. After we go through that stereotypical collegiate identity crisis (or perhaps a rebellion from cultural values in our earlier youth), we return to our old stomping grounds and find that nothing has changed. Before, we conformed to social norms and the values by which we were raised, or at least we feigned the appearance of it alarmingly well. Perhaps we conformed to preserve some silly social reputation, or perhaps we conformed out of fear for our own safety. When we face our upbringing as changed men, women, or whatever combination we call ourselves, we may face it in opposition. And that's pretty brutal. 


I suppose at this point, I'll stop speak in vague pronouns and discuss myself in particular. I change an awful lot. The person I am today is not the same person I was a year ago, and the person I was a year ago is not the same person I was the year prior to that. And that is perfectly okay. 


My high school English teacher referred me to a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson which defines much of my philosophy--or at least, the meta-aspect of how my philosophy is influenced: 


"With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." (Self-Reliance)


The day I read Self-Reliance was the day I realized that it is not a bad thing to live a "flighty" lifestyle and to let myself be influenced by my shifting surroundings. Who I am today is just as awesome as who I was four years ago, albeit completely different women. 


However, the cultural upbringing from which I fled? It doesn't agree. To the influences of my childhood, I am a "lost sheep", a "prodigal son". I am "going through a phase". To the influences of my childhood, I am forced to hide every realization I've had over the last year--about religion, about sexuality, about morality, and about how I feel about myself. I do not want to be a part of a society that shames individuals for their identity, particularly when there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way individuals identify themselves. Here's the thing about identity: it belongs to the individual. It aligns with the moral code of the individual. And by the inherent nature of moral codes, there is nothing wrong with having a different moral code than the norm or any other individual. Because, guess what? Moral codes are defined by the individual. Sure, the individual can choose to adopt a common moral code, but that does not decrease the ownership by the individual of the system of values that person has chosen to adopt. As long as moral codes rest on differing premises (as practically all of them do), any discrepancy between them cannot be necessarily faulted--only in corrupt logic is it possible for a system of values to be corrupt. But it is up to the owner of that system of values to identify the flawed logic in the system and amend (or not amend) the moral code accordingly. Additionally, there is a difference between an opposing moral code and a lack of a moral code--the latter of which is virtually impossible to any sentient being. 


In about three weeks, I'm heading back to my home town. Consequently, I'm ironing my habitual cussing out of my vocabulary (although cuss words are largely arbitrarily founded and their omission discredits human sexuality). I will be forced by fear to remain silent about my opinions on who I'm attracted to, if I care about who other people are attracted to, what women are or aren't allowed to do with their bodies, what constitutes marriage,   how I understand the world to operate, how I understand myself to operate, and how much I love the way I am. By the way, the fact that I am imposing this on myself is absolutely ridiculous and stupid--there is nothing fundamentally wrong about any aspect of my identity (nor is there anything fundamentally wrong about any aspect of anyone's identity). The fact that I have to feign shamefulness of who I have grown to become, or rather, who I am, is shameful in and of itself. 


Here's what I want to see happen in the world: I want people not to be criticized for their identity, but rather how they treat the identity of others. I want moral codes not to be evaluated not on their premises or conclusions, but rather, on their logic. And I want to go home, and tell everyone I love and hate exactly who I am and be just as safe and respected before and after.